I’m greeting everyday with a smile
I talk and giggle with my friends
School isn’t too hard
and home is nice and cozy
but why do I feel this constant gloom
this emptyness that constantly looms
it feels suffocating
like a heater that has been on for too long
It’s so quiet, there’s not a sound,
But it’s not like there’s nobody around.
The dog is busy yap, yap, yapping,
Dad is at the computer tap, tap, tapping,
Little brother playing GTA,
While the older one is texting all day.
My mother is reading on her Nook,
And Facebook is the only place my cousin looks.
What am I doing during all of this?
I’m watching the smoke rise into the abyss
Exhaling even more to distract myself
From this lonesome house and everything else.
I used to sit in the back of the room,
that desk is always full of gloom.
The fourth leg is missing,
how I fall so easily from just leaning.
How the dust collected on top,
how it goes everywhere when I sit with a plop!
The teacher would never see my raised hand,
how the entire class made me banned.
I couldn’t care less about it all.
How I would have my back against the wall,
and how I can ponder whatever I desire in my heart.
At the back of the classroom, nobody can see me fall apart.
Your name is in the headlines.
Your name is whispered in the halls.
You haven’t committed any crimes,
but cries are echoing off the walls.
You were always very kind
you always brightened everyone’s day.
Oh, how could we all be so blind?
It didn’t have to end this way!
I don’t know which is worse,
the way you left holes in all our hearts,
or how I don’t feel remorse.
Afterall, I helped you fall apart
I am ugly
My hair is greasy
My glasses don’t fit my face
And my clothes never match
What if I was born beautiful?
What if my genes favored me?
Would life be easier?
Would I have some friends?
Would they stop picking on me?
Would they be my friend instead?
Would she look at my direction?
Not with disgust, but with curiosity?
Someone comes up,
Oh great, another bully.
“Hey are you okay?”
Stunned, I turn around
She smiles a sad concerned smile
“I’m alright” I say looking down at my notes
“Are you sure?” She asks
Kneeling down to look me in the eye
“What is life like with beauty?”
The words slip out of my mouth before I could think of stopping them
She gives me a hug and holds me tight
“Remember that you are beautiful inside and out” ~Victoria N 12/18/17
She hugs me so tightly that I can’t breathe,
My body goes numb and my vision goes black,
but I smile in spite of myself
When she screams at me,
she calls me worthless and weak,
but I can’t help but feel praised
When she splashes cold water on my face
when she locks me out of the house for days
when she tosses my food all over my face
I feel like giggling and laughing like a fool
I don’t deserve this treatment,
you shouldn’t pity the dirt you tread with your own feet.
Those hateful words that ring in my ears
as they all beat me until I shed tears.
They pull at my hair and toss me to the ground
they kick me and throw me around.
I’m nothing more than a ragdoll
being pulled apart until stuffing falls.
They toss holy water at my face,
and hit me until metal is all I taste.
Everything hurts and everything stings,
my vision goes black and my ears start to ring.
Why must my life end this way?
What did I do to die today?
I am from stuffed animals
From books and the internet
I am from the card board walls
That smell like lime and scented candles
I am from the trees
The oaks and pines
Whose long gone limbs I remember
As if they were my own
I am from cooking and careful planning
From Axel and Fergus
I’m from watching movies at midnight and standing up for what I believe in
And from never backing out of an argument
I’m from “never give up” and “don’t forget your manners”
And “love your neighbor as yourself”
I’m from working hard
I’m from Texas and Hispanic roots
Chicken soup and quesadillas
From determination that never wavers
Working so hard that she would’ve collapsed
Pictures recording all like a journal
Strung up on walls and stored in books
Gently stored in our minds and in our hearts too
As soon as the horn sounds
They take their turn
Their muscles burn
more than anyone else that took their round
Everyone cheers, everyone screams
It turns into such a beautiful scene
His feet are splashing up chlorine
even so, the cheers are coming from both teams
GO! GO! GO!
YOU CAN DO THIS!
the scene appears to be a bliss
the faces of everyone appear to glow
When his hand touches the wall
The room echoes with our cheers
I’m so happy my eyes fill with tears
He is truly the greatest swimmer of them all
He isn’t the fastest of them all,
but he is the greatest of them all
we take off at high speeds
I’m forced back into my seat
I’m pinned to my seat as I gaze out the window
the road is a blur underneath the wheels
we go faster and faster until the roads end
when we take off, I can feel my world shift
It almost feels as if we are floating in the air
Are we going to fall?
Will we ever touch the ground again?
The world is shrinking beneath us
Everything is only getting smaller and smaller
A sharp pain brings me to become aware of my surroundings
babies cry as their ears pop
their screams are enough to wake any sleeping passengers
their cries might confuse the birds flying by
they say the lift-off is the worst part
I wonder what will happen when we get closer to the ground…